I’m Not Dead

September 15, 2006

Regular posting returns next week… still in the process of moving and haven’t had a chance to post daily. Thanks for your patience, I love you all!


John Mayer Has A Dark, Small Penis

September 8, 2006

John Mayer

Do you know that little voice inside your head who stops you from saying things you shouldn’t? Apparently John Mayer doesn’t have that voice. Excerpts from John Mayer’s Rolling Stone interview, via US Weekly.

On porn:
“I bought myself a Playgirl once. I just loved the feeling that there was a porno you really, really weren’t supposed to have…Not to say I wouldn’t enjoy the energy of watching a guy and girl have sex. I think I’d vomit out of pure arousal. Have you ever seen a guy and girl have sex in person?”

On Brangelina:

“Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left – just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow saying, ‘You greedy motherfucker, I’ve got nothing for you.’”

On being on tour:
“I slept with, like, three girls a week.”

On his private parts:
“I’m not worried about how small my penis is – I’m worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks.”

On the media:
“Everybody right now in the world of entertainment is a pussy. A pussy. They’re all so sensitive. What the fuck happened?”

On press interviews:
“I’m at a point right now where the more I talk, the more I’m going to say something in the next twelve months that’s going to damage my career.”

We couldn’t have said it better, John…

Paris Hilton Arrested For DUI

September 7, 2006

Paris as Nick Nolte

America’s favorite amateur porn star pulled a Mel Gibson last night. Well, minus that whole anti-Semitic tirade thing. Paris Hilton was pulled over for driving erratically in her Mercedes Benz McLaren SLR. She ended up blowing a .08 and getting booked for DUI. Paris was released on her own recognizance and the city attorney has yet to decide if she’ll be charged.

Paris called into Ryan Seacrest this morning to defend herself, saying that she only had one margarita and was driving fast because she “was really hungry” and wanted an In-N-Out Burger. She says the police were trying to make a statement because they were surrounded by paparazzi.

And, as always, TMZ has video.

John Mayer Thinks Jessica Simpson Is Desperate

September 6, 2006

Jessica and Joe Simpson

Page Six is reporting that John Mayer has already dumped Jessica Simpson. Last week, People Magazine declared the couple “in love”, but John begs to differ. He thinks that Jessica was using their relationship for publicity. A source tells US Magazine the relationship “was a 2 [that] her camp spun into an 11… [Mayer] thinks it’s desperate… an attempt to stay in the spotlight.”

Paris Hilton Is A Sad Clown

September 5, 2006

Paris Hilton The Sad Clown

On the left: The sad clown. On the right: Paris Hilton crying after she and Brandon Davis were turned away from nightclub Bungalow 8.

More pics at wwtdd.com.

The Real Pictures Of Suri Cruise

September 5, 2006

Holy crap, she exists! Tonight, on her first night hosting the CBS Evening News, Katie Couric showed us the new pictures of Suri Cruise in Vanity Fair:

Suri Cruise

More pics after the jump.

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The Best New Song Of The Year

August 31, 2006

Go Away ParisIf you haven’t heard this song yet, you must! It’s from a band called The OK Go Away Paris Hilton Apparatus! and it’s my favorite new song of the summer. Listen to it here.

A Showbiz Stupidity interview with the creator of this musical masterpiece, Mr. Smith, after the jump!

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