Paris Hilton Arrested For DUI

September 7, 2006

Paris as Nick Nolte

America’s favorite amateur porn star pulled a Mel Gibson last night. Well, minus that whole anti-Semitic tirade thing. Paris Hilton was pulled over for driving erratically in her Mercedes Benz McLaren SLR. She ended up blowing a .08 and getting booked for DUI. Paris was released on her own recognizance and the city attorney has yet to decide if she’ll be charged.

Paris called into Ryan Seacrest this morning to defend herself, saying that she only had one margarita and was driving fast because she “was really hungry” and wanted an In-N-Out Burger. She says the police were trying to make a statement because they were surrounded by paparazzi.

And, as always, TMZ has video.


Paris Hilton Is A Sad Clown

September 5, 2006

Paris Hilton The Sad Clown

On the left: The sad clown. On the right: Paris Hilton crying after she and Brandon Davis were turned away from nightclub Bungalow 8.

More pics at

The Best New Song Of The Year

August 31, 2006

Go Away ParisIf you haven’t heard this song yet, you must! It’s from a band called The OK Go Away Paris Hilton Apparatus! and it’s my favorite new song of the summer. Listen to it here.

A Showbiz Stupidity interview with the creator of this musical masterpiece, Mr. Smith, after the jump!

Read the rest of this entry »

Paris Hilton Wants To Be Lance Bass

August 30, 2006

Paris Hilton in space

The Sunday Mirror is reporting that Paris Hilton is actually planning on traveling into space. Paris has plopped down $195,000 to be a passenger on Richard Branson’s Virgin Enterprise rocket, which hasn’t even been built yet.

A source tells the tabloid, “She was a fan of the Star Wars films and the idea of blasting into space thrills her, but I don’t think she’s done the research – the reality may not be her idea of fun.”

What research is the source speaking of? Apparently because there are no toilets on the rocket, Paris will be forced to wear a diaper. No word yet on if her assistant will be forced to change it.

Man Has Sex With Paris Hilton, Wisely Scrubs With Tilex

August 29, 2006

The Scoop reports that Paris Hilton is pissed at Deadsy singer Elijah Blue Allman, who told Howard Stern about having sex with her before she was famous.

Blue, the son of Cher, admitted he was so worried about catching a STD from Paris that he scrubbed his genitals with Tilex.

If Tilex were smart, they’d jump on this right away:

Paris Hilton Tilex Ad

Paris Hilton Hacks Lindsay Lohan’s Voicemail

August 23, 2006

Paris Hilton On Cell Phone

Spoofcard, a company that sells phone cards to change the phone number displayed on caller IDs, has terminated Paris Hilton’s account because she was using it to hack into other people’s voicemail.

TMZ spoke to SpoofCard attorney Mark Del Bianco:

“Paris was entering unauthorized [voice] mail boxes.” When asked about Lindsay, he told us, “A number of the 50 persons [who were canceled by Spoofcard] were making unauthorized entrances to Miss Lohan’s voice mail.” A source close to the scandal also told TMZ that Nicky Hilton and Paris’ ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos may have been involved.

Paris Hilton’s Lesson On Oral Sex

August 23, 2006

Paris Hilton Acne

As hard as it may be to believe, Paris Hilton was once naive about sex. The skanky celebutante tells Blender magazine the motherly advice she got on oral sex:

“My mom told me that you get those holes in your face, craters – she knew this person who had craters. I’m like, ‘What is that from?’ She’s like, from giving blow jobs.” “I’m like, ‘You get craters?’ And I totally believed her. She’s like, ‘It’s from sucking.’ I’m like, ‘Ewwww!’ I told my boyfriend – he’s like, ‘Why don’t you ever do that?’ I’m like, ‘Because my mom told me you get these craters.’ And he’s like, ‘Paris, you’re 19. You’re allowed to do this.’”