Man Has Sex With Paris Hilton, Wisely Scrubs With Tilex

August 29, 2006

The Scoop reports that Paris Hilton is pissed at Deadsy singer Elijah Blue Allman, who told Howard Stern about having sex with her before she was famous.

Blue, the son of Cher, admitted he was so worried about catching a STD from Paris that he scrubbed his genitals with Tilex.

If Tilex were smart, they’d jump on this right away:

Paris Hilton Tilex Ad

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Elton John Wants To Rap

August 28, 2006

Elton John and Eminem

Elton John revealed to Rolling Stone magazine that he wants to put out a hip-hop album. He says, “I want to work with Pharrell, Timbaland, Snoop, Kanye, Eminem and just see what happens. It may be a disaster, it could be fantastic, but you don’t know until you try.”

Instead of writing all new songs, we thought Elton could simply update some of his classics with a hip-hop twist:

  • The Bitch Is Back (With Another Paternity Test)
  • Bennie and the Crips
  • The Circle of Life With No Parole
  • Your Song (To Listen To During a Drive-By)
  • Tiny Dancer On a Stripper Pole
  • I’m Still Standing (Thanks To a Bulletproof Vest)

William H. Macy Thinks Lindsay Lohan Needs Her Ass Kicked

August 28, 2006

William H. Macy Mad At Lindsay Lohan

William H. Macy, while promoting his new movie, Everyone’s Hero, used the opportunity to go off on Lindsay Lohan’s recent movie set tardiness. The Academy Award nominated actor told reporters:

“You can’t show up late, it’s very, very disrespectful. I think what an actor has to realize [is that] when you show up an hour late, 150 people have been scrambling to cover for you. There is not an apology big enough in the world to have to make 150 people scramble. It’s nothing but disrespect. And Lindsay Lohan is not the only one. A lot of actors show up late as if they’re God’s gift to the film. It’s inexcusable. They should have their asses kicked.”


K-Fed To Show Off Mad Acting Skills in CSI

August 28, 2006

CSI Reactions To K-Fed's Appearance

People is reporting that Kevin Federline will make his acting debut in an upcoming episode of CSI. In the episode set to air in October, K-Fed will play a “menacing, arrogant teen who harasses investigators Nick Stokes (George Eads) and Warrick Brown (Gary Dourdan) on a job.”

Kevin tells People:

“This is pretty much my first time acting. It’s the first time I’ve actually had a speaking role. I was doing stuff for the Teen Choice Awards and got the call while we were rehearsing and I pissed in my pants! I was excited right off the bat. It’s the only show that I really, really watch.”


Lindsay Lohan Perfume Coming Soon?

August 24, 2006

TMZ is reporting that Lindsay Lohan is in talks to come out with her own line of perfume. Can we make the following suggestion?

Lindsay Lohan Perfume


Diddy Brags About Endorsing Zit Cream

August 23, 2006

Man, Diddy really knows how to build street cred. In this video, he brags about his “silky smooth cocoa butter skin” and the fact that he was endorsing Proactiv before Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson.


Paris Hilton Hacks Lindsay Lohan’s Voicemail

August 23, 2006

Paris Hilton On Cell Phone

Spoofcard, a company that sells phone cards to change the phone number displayed on caller IDs, has terminated Paris Hilton’s account because she was using it to hack into other people’s voicemail.

TMZ spoke to SpoofCard attorney Mark Del Bianco:

“Paris was entering unauthorized [voice] mail boxes.” When asked about Lindsay, he told us, “A number of the 50 persons [who were canceled by Spoofcard] were making unauthorized entrances to Miss Lohan’s voice mail.” A source close to the scandal also told TMZ that Nicky Hilton and Paris’ ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos may have been involved.