The Real Pictures Of Suri Cruise

Holy crap, she exists! Tonight, on her first night hosting the CBS Evening News, Katie Couric showed us the new pictures of Suri Cruise in Vanity Fair:

More pics after the jump.

Suri Cruise’s Poop Sculpture

From the genius artist who brought us “Naked Britney on a Bearskin Rug”, it’s a bronze sculpture of Suri Cruise’s poop. E! News reports:

“Babies mostly breast-feed for the first four months, so a baby’s first meal of solid food may be a baby’s first meal at the dinner table,” said David Kesting, director of Capla Kesting Fine Art, located in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg gallery district. “A bronzed cast of baby’s first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family.”

If you want, you can actually buy this and put it on your mantle or whatever it is you’d do with bronzed baby poo. Check out this website for details.

Britney Spears’ Baby Gift Registry Includes $1200 Chandelier

Someone stumbled upon Britney Spears’ supposed gift registry at fancy Hollywood baby store Petit Tresor. A source tells The Scoop that it’s legit, but who knows. According to the registry, Britney’s expecting on November 11th.

A few of the items Britney would like:

• Airplane Chandelier : $1,275
• Bonne Nuit Crib: $2,200
• Bonne Nuit French Changer: $2,395
• Polka Dot Pink Rug: $495
• Baby Rosebuds Crib Set: $895
• “Ruffles, Roses ‘n Bows” Bassinet by Lulla smith: $1,100
• Berry Adult Glider with Ottoman: $1,095

Feel free to look at their gift registry and buy an overpriced baby gift for Britney and K-Fed at Petit Tresor.

Jessica Simpson Tries To Kiss Britney’s Belly

At last Sunday’s Teen Choice Awards, Jessica Simpson supposedly asked Britney Spears if she could kiss her pregnant belly. Britney, uncharacteristically showing some class, told Jessica “Hell no!”

A witness tells US Weekly, “Jessica was really insulted, but Britney refused to let her do it.”

Rules You Must Follow To Meet Suri Cruise

According to a British report, Tom Cruise has invited Victoria and David Beckham to meet baby Suri. A source says “David and Victoria are honored that Tom and Katie have asked them along. However they were a little shocked by the list of rules they’ll have to follow.”

Apparently for the privilege to meet baby Suri, you have to abide by the following rules:

1. No photographic equipment.
2. No touching Suri.
3. No baby-talk around Suri.

I do, however, think that Tomkat forgot to mention the three most important rules:

1. Do not let Suri near bright light.
2. Do not get Suri wet.
3. Do not feed Suri after midnight.

Source: Female First

Sean Preston Responds To Esquire

US Weekly reported today that Esquire magazine has named Britney and K-Fed’s son, Sean Preston, as the “Worst Dressed Man in the World.” Okay, I’m all for ripping on Britney and K-Fed, but this seems a little much. Luckily we were able to get a statement from Sean P himself.

Sean P. says, “Look, I’m like one year old and in case you didn’t notice, I can’t really dress myself. How do you expect me to look when I have two of the world’s trashiest people picking out my clothes? I’d like to present to the public, Exhibits ‘A’ and ‘B’. Like I’ve always said, ‘If my parents dress like s–t, then you must acquit.’”

Vanity Fair To Publish Suri Cruise Pics?

According to this morning’s Page Six, Vanity Fair has secured the rights to the first pictures of Suri Cruise. The photos, taken by celeb photographer Annie Leibovitz, will be published this fall.

UPDATE (September 5th, 2006): I know a lot of people are coming here looking for the real Suri pictures that were released today. You can see them here.